Why does my brain never stop thinking? And why do I overthink every little thing? Why am I overthinking so much? I have asked the same questions myself for years. I have been dealing with anxiety since childhood, which leads to overthinking as well. My curiosity, along with my struggle, leads me to know the relationship between overthinking and anxiety. And what are the reasons I overthink everything? and how do I stop my brain from overthinking?
In this article, we will discuss in detail the Subconscious reasons you overthink everything.
First, let’s talk about the psychology of overthinking.
What is overthinking ? Is overthinking good or bad?
Overthinking, an act that involves repetitively focusing on the cause, outcomes, and consequences of symptoms, is a habitual tendency that is associated with sadness, distress, and anxiety. Overthinking is reinforced by fear of loss, injustice, threat, or anything that is perceived as something that is out of one’s control. The main factor in overthinking is negative self-reflection. which means consistently focusing on negative emotions that are also associated with anxiety.
Let’s talk more in detail about the reasons you overthink everything.
Remember the time when you did something wrong or made a mistake and started repeatedly thinking about it? Replicating the same scenario again and again inside your head like an eternal loop You can’t sleep, can’t enjoy, and can’t concentrate; you just keep worrying and can’t stop thinking about it. Thinking about handling a situation in different ways and running different scenarios inside your head, keep thinking about what could have gone differently if I had done things differently. Criticizing yourself about it.
Does this all sound familiar?
Let’s talk about overthinking. It’s also called rumination. It’s basically when your mind won’t shut up.
According to the Response Styles Theory (Nolen-Hoesksema, 2000), ruminating is the act of repeatedly thinking negatively about the reasons behind, consequences of, and signs of unpleasant emotion. (Nolen-Hoesksema & Morrow, 1991).
Even the most thrilling aspects of your life could be ruined by overthinking.
For example, before meeting someone, think, “I’m looking forward to this date tonight.” And it turns into something like, “I’m wondering whether they like me?” and you can’t seem to quit bringing up possibilities regarding it.
You are not alone in this. According to research, 52% of adults between 45 and 55 and 73% of people between 25 and 35 overthink on a daily basis.
This post will discuss the unconscious reasons you overthink everything. And how to catch yourself in the act. This post will deliberate on how to recognize your own patterns of thinking.
7 signs that you’re an overthinker
These are 7 signs that you’re an overthinker.
You have a hard time sleeping
Do you remember the feeling when you go to bed at night and lay your head on the pillow to sleep, but your mind won’t let you sleep? Your mind begins to think about everything you did wrong. Everything you said is devouring your mind. The thoughts you have are not going away. If you have an overthinking mind, it is likely that you have difficulty falling asleep.
You struggle to make decisions, or you second-guess them.
People who are confident have difficulty making decisions as well, but because they have the willingness to make errors, they are less concerned about making the wrong choice.
Overthinkers tend to focus much of their attention on the potential outcomes of their decisions. such as “I think I would be happy if I worked somewhere else.” Alternatively, you find yourself questioning why you stayed in a situation longer. Then again, you may have stated something different than what you said.
You relive embarrassing moments in your mind repeatedly.
You spoke with a coworker or your boss earlier, and you raised a point or asked a question in a formal workplace meeting. And now you keep repeating those moments and cannot stop thinking about them. If you find yourself replaying conversations or reflecting on unpleasant past events, this could be an indication that you have developed an overthinking behavior.
You ask a lot of “WHAT IF” or” WHY ME” questions.
You are constantly questioning things in your head. You are constantly filled with doubts. “What if it does not go the way I think it should?” Or, why is it that this always happens to me?
It seems that your uncertainty has been holding you back from taking any action. You may constantly feel anxious, which can lead to a persistent state of worry.
You’re having trouble focusing.
It seems like you are preoccupied with your thoughts and find it challenging to focus on the person in front of you. You missed things happening around you. You lack focus on daily stuff. It’s possible that you spend a lot of time dwelling on things outside of your control. If this resonates with you, it’s possible that you’re an overthinker.
You always try to read between the lines.
You seem to have a tendency to constantly try to deduce meaning from context and make assumptions about what other people intend. For instance, if your boss calls you, you might suspect it is about something bad and always look for assurances. You may ask questions like, “Are you mad at me about something?” Even with your friends, you might keep bringing up the same subject and asking for affirmation, such as, “Am I annoying?” or “Do you think my husband loves me?”
Overthinking is not helpful.
If you’ve noticed that you have a habit of overthinking, it may feel like being caught in an endless loop of worry and unease. It’s not helping you with anything. Because overthinking is unproductive and it doesn’t lead to any positive outcomes. You can worry over a test or an interview over and over again or you can just focus your energy on preparing for it.
Rumination is a natural reaction to emotions of doubt and a lack of control in certain circumstances of life. When we feel uncertain about a particular issue or an event or we don’t have complete knowledge about, to make sense of the situation our mind engages in a cerebral process. However, it’s important to be mindful of the impact that excessive rumination can have on our mental health and well-being.
You might think that overthinking is healthy or helpful, but Amy Morin, the author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, said,
“Overthinking is also different from self-reflection. Healthy self-reflection is about learning something about yourself or gaining a new perspective about a situation. It’s purposeful. Overthinking involves dwelling on how bad you feel and thinking about all the things you have no control over. It won’t help you develop new insight.”
Overthinking may appear to be good or beneficial, but it can actually have detrimental effects on our mental health and well-being. Morin notes that overthinking can lead to increased anxiety and stress, as well as prevent us from taking action and making progress in our lives. Therefore, it’s important to be mindful of our thought patterns and work to develop strategies for managing overthinking when it arises.
4 types of unproductive overthinking
There are four types of unproductive overthinking.
Depressive rumination
Depressing rumination is simply thinking about negative experiences and replaying them in your mind over and over. You keep returning to thoughts that make you feel more miserable, which lowers your mood and gives you a sense of hopelessness.
Depressive rumination includes thoughts such as “I am not good enough” and “Why am I such a failure?” “Why is my life so bad?” “Why can’t I ever be happy?” “Why is this world so cruel?”. Having those thoughts all the time could be a sign of depressive rumination.
Anxious rumination or Worry
Anxious rumination is characterized by a persistent and often excessive focus on negative scenarios associated with past mistakes or future events. Continue to reflect on past mistakes and what you have done or said in the past. Being too focused on future events, imagining future catastrophes, or not being able to shift your attention from worrying leads to significant distress and impairment in daily life. “What is going to happen?” “What if I did something wrong?” “Perhaps I should not have done or said that?” This way of thinking consumes the majority of your energy and has an impact on your day-to-day life.
Decision paralysis (Choice Fatigue)
You overthink decisions because you are afraid of making the wrong one. You are having difficulty making decisions. You freeze in inaction whenever you have to make a decision. Rather than make a bad decision, you choose not to make one. Overthinking and deferring a decision can lead to additional stress and missed opportunities in life, which is why making a bad decision is better than making no decision.
Social Anxiety
Social anxiety, an intense fear of social situations, is the fourth type of unproductive overthinking. You are concerned about looking foolish. Indeed, you are easily embarrassed. You are concerned about how other people will perceive you. Alternatively, “I should have responded differently; I am such a moron.” Being concerned about being misunderstood or harshly judged by others consumes you all the time. You experience significant distress in social situations, making it difficult to engage in daily activities, in relationships, or pursue personal or professional goals.
Overthinking is known as rumination, and it can be detrimental to your mental well-being. Overthinking is associated with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD. But it’s a chicken-and-an-egg situation. Overthinking causes anxiety and depression, and anxiety and depression can contribute to overthinking. Overthinking, however, is not your identity. It is not your personality. It is a habit you have developed. It is something you do, but it is not a permanent characteristic. You can learn how to stop overthinking and practice them to change your brain.
So, why do we overthink if it is so bad for us?
When it comes to our minds, we continue to do things that we unintentionally reward. We keep overthinking because it provides us with a short-term benefit.
4 rewards of overthinking
Consequently, overthinking may yield the following four benefits:
A false sense of control-believing analyzing is controlling
You may believe that by breaking something down from beginning to end, you can exert more control over the result or repercussions. And for that, there is a reward. You get the impression that you have some power over the circumstances. We might get a false sense of security from this inaccurate perception of control.
Individuals who ruminate often assume they are solving their problems; yet, ruminating is connected with increased levels of discomfort, depression, and anxiety (Brose, De Raedt, & Vanderhasselt, 2020).
A false sense of safety and perfection
You believe that overthinking a scenario reduces the chances of messing things up. Overthinking gives you a false sense of security that if you do everything perfectly, you will avoid errors and negative consequences. It is a false sense of security. You replay a scenario in your mind, trying to figure out how to be perfect or reduce your chances of making mistakes.
A false sense of reassurance by avoiding uncertainty.
The third reason for overthinking is that you cannot tolerate uncertainty. You are addicted to reassurance and knowing the outcome, or you are attempting to control the outcome by considering all possible outcomes. You believe that if you plan out every single detail, you will be able to make everything perfect.
If you look closely at these rewards, you will notice that they are all about avoiding fear. You are afraid of something deep down, and you believe that if you think about it compulsively, you will be able to control it and keep yourself safe. But that’s not how it works; instead, it backfires.
You imagine that is some kind of important work.
When you are thinking about something, you feel like you are doing something. Overthinking has a negative impact in the long run. It interferes with your sleep. It has a negative impact on your mental health.
Even if we convince ourselves that overthinking is beneficial, it most likely isn’t.
So, first and foremost, let us clarify:
What is the distinction between destructive overthinking and problem-solving?
Overthinking concentrates on the negative. It is motivated by fear. However, it also focuses on the things over which you have no control. Assume you are worried about an upcoming test.
Productive stress can motivate you to take action, study harder, work harder on the project, and possibly reach out to classmates to form a study group. Productive stress may cause you to sleep less, but you will use that time to prepare for a situation.
Overthinking, on the other hand, entails spending a significant amount of time worrying about the test questions or imagining how your parents will react if you fail.
Both of these factors are outside of your control and contribute to catastrophizing. “Why am I such a failure?” you wonder. Why cannot everything go my way? “Why cannot I handle this?” Right?
If you have a problem you need to solve, such as when making a major life decision, you may need to spend a significant amount of time considering your options or reviewing your memories. But never worry in your head.
Productive thinking helps to make ideas more concrete and actionable.
- Set a time limit for yourself.
- Write them down.
- Say it out loud.
- Draw it on a piece of paper.
- Make a pros-and-cons list.
- Investigate all aspects of a situation, not just the negative or compulsive ones.
You can also overcome shame by telling someone. You can counteract negative distortions by seeking out another person’s perspective. The whole point of this is to keep these overthinking thoughts from lingering in your mind all day.
If you believe you must overthink in order to be successful, you should ask yourself, “How much time am I spending on this?”.
Is it really benefiting me? Then let’s be honest about how it might be affecting you negatively. These include sleep, work relationships, physical health, stress, tension, headaches, and stomachaches.
Overthinking, on the other hand, makes you less creative and less likely to solve problems.
If you believe you have an overthinking mind, you can overcome it by practicing therapeutic skills and becoming more productive.
Here is an article about eight 8 Therapeutic skills to stop Overthinking and Negative Thoughts; please take the time to read it. It might be helpful.
Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109(3), 504-511.
Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Morrow, J. (1991). A prospective study of depression and post- traumatic stress symptoms after a natural disaster: The 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 115–121.
Morin, A. (2017). 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do: Raising Self-assured Children and Training Their Brains for a Life of Happiness, Meaning, and Success. HarperCollins.
According to the Response Styles Theory (Nolen-Hoesksema, 2000), ruminating is the act of repeatedly thinking negatively about the reasons behind, impacts of, and symptoms of negative affect (Nolen-Hoesksema & Morrow, 1991).
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